Chapter 42
JAXON
My demons.
The ones I thought I had managed to tame by throwing myself into work and dabbling into anything that came in the form of distractions. They were back and if it was barely noticeable before, it tripled in size this time around and messed with what was left of my senses.
I wasn’t called the devil for no reason.
My personality portrayed me that way.
And in truth, I loved it. I loved being referred to and seen as the devil. The title came with utter satisfaction that had me convinced that no one could dare cross my path and not have to answer for it. I loved the fear and dread that the mere mention of my name evoked in people.
I lived for it because, in a way, it made me feel like I had control over one thing. That my will wasn’t completely taken from me and my life wasn’t overly under the control of the demons that occupied my head. I could give up everything, but I couldn’t give up that control I had over that aspect of my life. It was my drive. It was the only reason I still felt alive. I couldn’t live without it.
But then, she came into the picture and changed everything.
For once, I wanted to be good to her. I wanted to be worthy of her. Heck, the thought of everybody perceiving me as a monster wasn’t enough to earn the slightest reaction from me, but the thought of her viewing me as a monster made me feel as though I couldn’t breathe. It didn’t sit well with me. It disturbed me and shattered me into a gazillion pieces. And God, I couldn’t get it out of my head. The mortifying look in her eyes when she saw me shoot one of my men. I just got so angry. The fucking bastard was stuttering!
It only spelled out one thing.
She was terrified of me and I hated it so much. I didn’t want her walking on eggshells around me. I didn’t want her to view me as someone that was messed up in the head. She was so scared of me and I saw it in her eyes. The protective instincts kicked in because she felt like I would hurt her.
Fuck, I could never hurt her.
I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I did.
Being away from her for nearly a week made me feel like I was losing my hold on my sanity and it didn’t even help that we weren’t on good terms. Alberta had tried to cover up for her when I asked her how she was coping, but I caught on to the lies that hung in her tone. She had no choice but to open up to me that she locked herself in the room and wouldn’t eat anything no matter how hard she tried to persuade her.
She is mad at me. I get it. I can try to live with that. But starving herself? I couldn’t and if I had to force the food down her throat this evening, I was so down for it. The limousine came to a halt and a guard scurried to the door, pulling it open and I got out of the car, shrugging off my blazers and striding into the house.
“ALBERTA!” I bellowed and the brunette came running at the sound of my voice. She scurried out of the kitchen and walked over to where I was, bowing her head in respect. I pinched the bridge of my nose, raking my fingers through my hair.
“Where is my wife?” I asked her and she shifted backwards in fright at the sight of the death glare that marred my face.
“She’s upstairs, Mr. Gray.” She answered, her head dropping to the floor.
“I don’t want to see anyone upstairs.” I declared, walking away from her. I took long strides, ascending the staircase, and nearly in the blink of an eye, I was standing by the door that led to our room.
“Peach!” I hollered but got no response.
“Peach, playtime is over!”
“Open the door or I swear to God, I will bring this house to its fucking feet if you don’t open up and let me in!” I fired, my voice booming and resonating across the hallways. I got so terrified when she wasn’t answering. What if something had happened to her? What if she suffocated or lost consciousness?
“PEACH!” I shouted, my voice breaking.
“Fuck you, Arden!” She yelled back at me and I puffed out some air through my mouth, brushing my fingers through my hair and pinching the bridge of my nose. The relief that washed over me, knowing she was safe, was second to none, even though it didn’t anyway dispute the fact that I was irritated. I was frustrated and I was so furious with her. I could feel my patience wearing thin with each passing second.
I growled, punching the door and that earned me a scream from her.
I took a step backwards and took in the size of the door, weighing my options in my head, but then, I stopped short when I remembered that Alberta had the spare keys to the room. I dropped it off with her one time and forgot about it.
“ALBERTA!” I bellowed, calling out to her. The older woman, who valued her life, came running in a matter of seconds.
“Get me the spare keys to this room,” I ordered her, and without waiting to hear one more word from me, she bolted out of my presence to go get me the keys.
“You can open the door now and I will go easy on you,” I spoke up coldly, glaring at the door and trying to refrain from the luring urge of kicking it down and ripping it from its hinges. I opened my mouth to speak when I was met with her silence, but Alberta’s presence prevented me from speaking further.
I took the keys from her and dismissed her. I inserted the keys into the keyhole and twisted the knob open. I tried to push it forward but I soon realized that she was blocking it with her back. I chuckled darkly because I was obviously stronger and she was just being stupid.
“Really, Peach?” I asked in a bored tone, kicking the door forward and stepping into the room. I locked the door and threw the keys somewhere in the room, leaving her at my mercy.
“Get out!” She yelled at me, teary-eyed. The sight of her honey-brown eyes pooling with tears tugged at my heartstrings and made my chest constrict with pain, eliciting a soft exhale from me.
“I leave town for five days and you decide to starve yourself, huh?” I asked, arching my brow at her. She was glaring defiantly at me, her chest heaving. An act that showed that she was having trouble breathing properly. I did a double take, sweeping my eyes over her small, curvy frame that was clad in one of my numerous shirts with her wavy brown hair a gorgeous mess pouring down her back.
It looked even better on her.
“I can’t even stand you!” She spat out in disgust, taking a step backwards. The coldness in her brown eyes seemed to falter, morphing into something more fragile. It was that fear that I had seen in her eyes that day.
“You won’t even let me explain!” I shouted at her, throwing my hands up in the air.
“Because there’s nothing to explain, you fucking bastard!” She retorted sharply and I decided that I was done with her yelling at me. I threw a calculative gaze in her direction, striding forward and closing in on her. She screamed, racing backwards and crashing against the wall.
“Don’t touch me!” She snapped, her eyes brimming with tears.
“For fucks sake, why are you so unyielding?” I demanded, utterly exasperated with her resilience. How hard was it for her to understand that I would never hurt her? Fuck, she was like the only thing holding me together, stopping me from going ballistic and ruining everything! She was the only thing keeping me in check!
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“Because I hate you so much for taking everything away from me and keeping me hostage in this large ass house in the name of being married to you!”
“For fucks sake, I am not a toy to possess!” She screeched and I growled, yanking her to myself by her arms. Her next action left me stunned because I didn’t even remember that I had my gun tucked in my back. She reached for it and pointed it in my face, sporting a cold, defiant look in her eyes. She tilted my head backwards with the cold tip of the gun.
For a second there, I felt my heart skip at the thought of her pulling the trigger. I took a step backwards, raising my hands in the air with a frown on my face. How the fuck was she even able to hold it perfectly?
“Peach, drop the gun!” I commanded, my voice rising a notch.
“Now you want me to drop the gun? Does it fucking ring a bell when you pulled a gun on me because I refused to wear the stupid ring you bought?” She asked, her lips twitching in a light smirk, not in the least bothered to hide the amusement that swirled in her eyes. She was right to be amused. She had the big bad mafia boss under her control.
It was undeniable. She looked stunning.
Fuck, she looked so hot with a gun in her hands. She looked like she was set to burn the world down. She couldn’t have seemed more badass and I couldn’t suppress the smile tugging at my lips that had her furrowing her brows, blinking her lashes softly at me. Her posture faltered and I moved swiftly, hijacking the gun from her and slamming her back against the wall, eliciting a gasp from her.
I threw the gun somewhere in the room, farther away from us, taking her hands and pinning it above her head, against the wall.
“Let me go!” She shouted at me.
“You’ll keep your fucking mouth shut or I will have no problem shutting it up for you,” I said sternly, tugging at my tie. I added pressure on her hands that were pinned above her head as she wouldn’t stop fighting to get out of my grip. Her lips began trembling and her eyes got watery. I tied her hands to keep them in place and picked her up like she weighed nothing, dropping her on the bed with a thud. She was still thrashing around on the bed until I yanked her close with one of her legs in my hands.
I felt her shiver softly and I smirked, pressing a soft kiss on her ankle, earning me a sharp gasp from her that had her lifting her body off the bed. I would be lying if I said it didn’t bring an unnerving amount of satisfaction because of the way she was sensitive and reacted to even the slightest graze from me. It made me so fulfilled.
“You see…Peach,” I trailed upward, kissing her leg and breathing on it, “I own you.” I proclaimed, pressing a kiss to her leg and I heard a soft cry escape her lips. She squirmed and writhed in pleasure underneath me, trying to break out of my grip, but I was stronger. I didn’t understand how that fact manages to elude her and pushes her to do the most stupid but adorable things.
“Your body,” I chuckled against her leg, brushing my hands airily on it and she moaned, an involuntary grunt leaving my lips. Fuck, the sounds she makes will be the death of me. They left my member twitching in my pants.
“Shit!” She cried when my lips met her thighs.
“Your mind,” I ran my tongue across the skin of her legs and felt her wiggle in my hold.
“Oh…” She moaned and I smirked against her thighs.
“Your soul,” I growled, breathing on her thighs. I felt one of her legs come around my back, tugging me closer, and I grabbed the fleshy part of her thighs, spreading her legs.
“Belongs to me,” I spoke, sucking on the flesh of her thighs.
“YOU BELONG TO ME!” I stated matter-of-factly, my tone reeking of possessiveness. I didn’t know if it was because of the way I sounded or how I assaulted her thighs with feathery kisses that had her moaning so loudly, plunging me into an abyss of insanity. My finger brushed her thigh, earning me a reaction that I loved as I left her leg and got on top of her. I knew without a doubt that beneath her legs was an ocean of liquid right now.
Those honey-brown eyes seemed to have taken a darker shade of brown that had me growling possessively. They were clouded by want, desire, lust, and screamed seduction at one glance. Those emotions tugged at the ties that held my resistance in place, wanting to rip me off it. I brought my hands to her face, trailing them around her jaw and below. They dropped to her collarbone and I leaned in, burying my head in the crook of her neck and sniffing her.
“Fuck!” She cried, latching her palm on my back.
“You smell just like me and you have no idea how it drives me nuts,” I said huskily, sucking on the skin of her neck. An airy moan was emitted from her and I grunted, my hands brushing the buttons of the shirt she was wearing.
“Just take the damn thing off,” She breathed, her voice coming out in a whine and sounding so needy. I let out a breathy laughter and detached my lips from her neck, looking down at her with a light smile on my face.
“Tempting, but you have to eat first, baby,” I said softly, dropping a soft kiss on her forehead. I tugged at the tie that held her hands together, loosening it and slipping my fingers into hers, intertwining them. I crouched softly and dropped a kiss on our intertwined hands, causing her to sigh.
I rolled us over and she was now straddling me, her hair falling over her face en masse. My hands came around her waist, gently pulling her down so that she could rest on my chest. She didn’t fight it. She caved in and wrapped her tiny arms around me. A cute yawn left her lips and I chuckled.
It felt so comfortable.
The thought of staying this way with her suddenly seemed appealing. I shut my eyes and dipped my hands into my pockets, easing out my phone. I went to my contacts and dialed Alberta’s number. She picked up the first ring.
“She will eat now,” I said into the phone and hung up. I snuck a glance at her and realized that she was fast asleep. She was exhausted.
I smiled and kissed her forehead, wrapping my arms around her to keep her in place.
This was enough.
More than enough.