Masochist
I carefully trimmed Ivan’s fingernails on his hands and feet. I’m pleased that even though he’s not entirely comfortable with me, he allowed me to do it. He remained quiet, only occasionally stealing glances in my direction.
“There we go, all finished,” I said with a smile. It’s his third day in the hospital, and he may be discharged tomorrow. He gazed at me unwaveringly, prompting me to divert my eyes.
“Um, are you hungry?” I inquired.
He responded by shaking his head.
“Do you want me to peel some fruit for you?” I asked, and he nodded slowly as if speech was a challenge for him.
I peeled an apple and an orange for him and set the fruit bowl on the bedside table. I returned to the sofa to tidy up some clutter when he called out to me.
“Aren’t you going to feed me?” he asked, furrowing his brow.
“Your hands are improving, aren’t they?” I replied.
“It still hurts!” he complained. I wasn’t certain if he was being truthful, but despite that, I approached him.Content held by NôvelDrama.Org.
To be honest, I nearly left last night. Maureen came over once again while I was asleep. It made me feel like my husband was betraying me.
However, even though I am the legitimate spouse, I couldn’t stop them because they might just remind me of my role in his life. So now, I can’t comprehend his melodrama and his need for me to feed him. Perhaps he felt guilty about his infidelity, so he pretended to be affectionate with me.
I moved closer to him and fed him slices of apple.
“Tell me, what kind of husband am I?” he asked unexpectedly.
“Huh?” I pondered. I had no pleasant memories from our year together, so I wasn’t sure if I should answer his question.
“Moody. Cold. Distant,” I replied candidly.
Ivan remained silent for a moment.
I continued, “In love with someone else.”
“What kind of wife are you?” he asked after a pause.
“I don’t know. Only you can answer that,” I replied.
“How did you endure my moodiness, coldness, and being distant from you?” Ivan inquired.
“I don’t know, Ivan. I just let the days pass by, and it didn’t even occur to me that a whole year had gone by. Why did you ask?” I continued to feed him.
“I was just curious. Why didn’t you leave me?”
I chuckled, saying, “I must be a masochist. Instead of leaving you despite how you treated me, I drew closer to you.” I smiled, but it wasn’t a sweet one.
There was sadness in my eyes, and even though he had amnesia, I knew he could sense the bitterness and sorrow there. After all, he just forgot, but he wasn’t blind.
“You know, honestly, it pains me that even with amnesia, I’m the only one you forgot, your wife.” I paused for a moment to compose myself. I was trembling and afraid that I wouldn’t be able to hold back my tears much longer.
I took a deep breath and forced a smile.
“Rest now. You need to regain your strength,” I advised him. I took the bowl and carried it to the sink. I was aware that he was still watching me, so I occupied myself. I didn’t want to see pity in his expression or make him feel sorry for me.
That night, Maureen visited again. I stayed awake and didn’t pretend to be asleep.
“I’ll step out for a while,” I declared. It was best to leave, so I wouldn’t overhear their conversation.
I went outside to get some fresh air, sitting on a bench while counting the stars in the sky to pass the time.
It was midnight when I returned to the room. Maureen was still there, sitting beside Ivan on the bed. Even with the door open, she didn’t make any effort to distance herself from my husband.
She had the audacity. It felt as if I were the one experiencing shame.
I avoided making eye contact with them and went straight to the bathroom. When I returned, I headed for the sofa and lay down. I closed my eyes and tried to rest, even though I was grappling with the overwhelming emotions that were on the brink of breaking my heart. The pain was sharp, as their actions were a blatant betrayal of my trust.
Until I heard the door open, I thought it was just the doctor or nurse who had arrived. However, I then heard the angry voices of Ivan’s parents.
“What are you doing here?!” my mother-in-law shouted.
“You shameless people! You didn’t even respect Myla!”
“You have some nerve! You’re disgusting!”
As Mom uttered those words, tears welled up in my eyes, and I couldn’t stop myself from crying. I just buried myself under the blanket and continued to weep.
“Get out! Leave this place!”
“They’re going to break up anyway,” Maureen reasoned.
“Who said they were going to break up? That will never happen!”
“Ivan and I made a deal; he’ll break up with Myla after they’ve been together for a year. Your son loves me, not that orphan!”
I heard the loud slap that my mother-in-law gave Maureen.
“Mom!” Ivan called out to his mother.
I quickly got up and positioned myself between them, embracing my mother-in-law.
“It’s enough, Mom,” I consoled her to prevent any further escalation. She was extremely angry, her face flushed red. It was fortunate that we were in a private room.
“Leave now!” she shouted again.
Maureen exited the room, and despite Ivan calling after her, she continued to make her way out.
I assisted my mother-in-law in taking a seat on the sofa and gave her a glass of water.
Meanwhile, my father-in-law stayed near the door, holding onto his waist to calm himself.
I asked my in-laws, “What are you doing here?”
“Somebody informed us about Maureen’s visits here. Why didn’t you speak up? You should have told me,” she said tearfully.
I was even more moved to tears by the care and love my in-laws were showing me, prompting me to hug her.
“And as for you, Ivan, I don’t even recognize you anymore!”
“If only you hadn’t pressured me into marrying her, it wouldn’t-”
“Shut up! You don’t know what you’re saying, Ivan. You have no idea,” my mother-in-law muttered, her body trembling.
I suggested, “Maybe you should go home for now, Mom. Take a rest; you might become too overwhelmed. Please try to calm down.”
“How can you remain so composed, my dear?” She embraced me once more. “We should have married you to Dylan back then,” she remarked.
Dylan is their nephew, the son of my father-in-law’s eldest sibling. He is kind and cheerful, unlike Ivan, who always appears angry.