[Book 2] Chapter 84
Dawn
POV
By the time I had gotten the bus home and walked the few streets home, I was exhausted and bone weary. It had been a difficult day, treading lightly as I circumvented a new client and their moods. I rapped softly on the door and my mother quickly opened it, her face creased in a slight frown that cleared when she saw me.
"Faith's asleep" she whispered, pointing towards her room.
I shrugged out of my jacket, put it on the sofa, and turned towards her with a smile. "Any problems?"novelbin
She shook her head "Your daughter is always good for me. Wish I could say the same for you when you were that age" she sighed dramatically as I fought not to roll my eyes at her dramatic tone. "Okay, okay mother," I said as she eyed me carefully "I get it. I was a pain in the a*s when I was smaller."
She laughs "Well at least you can say you learned from your mistakes," she said raising her nose and sniffing.
Ah yes. Mistakes. So many of them, including Faith's father. I bit my lip and then sat down at the table, while mother fetched dinner, a large bowl of butter chicken and rice. I inhaled appreciatively and began to dig in, while mother sat opposite me and raised a brow. "So how was it? Did you get the position? I assumed you did seeing as you didn't come back earlier."
"I got the job" I mumbled between mouthfuls "I spent today learning about him and trying to get to know him a little bit." "Oh yeah" she leans forward interested "Is he old? Young?" her eyes sparkle and she has a hopeful expression on her face. Enjoy this chapter for free and stay updated with the latest version on Job n ib. c om. Don't miss out, visit it now."I can tell what you're thinking and he's just a client. He's slightly older than me judging by his looks" I said thoughtfully remembering his charcoal eyes and the piercing gaze as he looked upon me and tried not to blush.
"Nothing wrong with an older man" my mother chirped, while I continued to eat "Can I ask what his disability is?"
I swallow "He was shot, I don't know the specifics, but all I know is that he's paralyzed from the waist down."
My mother looks genuinely upset for him. "That's such a shame" she exhaled "the poor man. I can't imagine how he must be feeling."
"Pissed," I said bluntly "angry at the world and resentful."
I was never one to mince words. It was better to be truthful than to lie.
"Dawn" she scolded "that's not a nice way to talk about your client."
"It's the truth and I'm not speaking badly. I would be the same in his shoes. There's no point pretending it's anything it's not. The sooner he accepts his situation, the better it will be in the long run for him" I shrug nonchalantly. "Still, it can't be easy for him Dawn, try to show some compassion."
"I have compassion Mother" I snorted "but I won't coddle a man determined to feel sorry for himself. Not when it could mean...." I trail off and she reads my mind.
"That was one client Dawn. You did everything you could" she said softly "There was no helping him. You went above and beyond what was expected of you, even while you were pregnant with Faith. You have to let that go."
I duck my head. I try not to envision it. But the images flash in my mind and I shudder visibly. I failed him. I failed Sam and I was never going to forget that. It's why I was determined not to get too close, even if I was attracted to lan Grant. Because to get close to somebody only meant getting hurt when something inevitably happened and Sam had taught me the danger of letting myself become too much involved and allowing myself to become vulnerable.
"Still, I think that with time, lan Grant will prove to be stubborn enough to become fully independent," I said, as my mother nodded understandingly, accepting I needed to change the subject.
"Well if anyone can get him to do that it's you, you have a way with people," she said with a low murmur "You have a real talent. It was a shame when you gave this up."
"I know, but Faith had to come first" I protested.
She gave me a sharp look "A child should always come first Dawn, but the fact that her father is barely present in her life is not something to be proud of either. That child needs the stability of two parents looking after her. I'm a poor substitute for a father figure" she said softening her voice "and I would like to see you settled down before I die."
I laughed "Mother it's going to be a long time until you pass away, you're still young."
"Not as young as I used to be," she said shaking her head, a rueful expression on her face "I'll be glad when Faith begins preschool, if only for the break it gives me."
Immediately I felt guilty. She saw the stricken look on my face and quickly waved a hand at me "Don't you start fretting" she said in a low tone "There's plenty of time to come to a new arrangement when you're on your feet and your bills are paid. You think I don't know just how much financial difficulty you're having?" she asked and I flushed, staring down at my half-eaten dinner.
"I didn't want to burden you" I whispered, ashamed.
"You're my daughter, of course, I want to know if there's any way I can help. I might not have much" she began and I began to shake my head adamantly.
"I don't want your money," I told her as she flattened her lips "It's enough that you're taking care of Faith for me. I need to be able to do this on my own."
"Well if her father paid child support," she said snarkily "you might not be in as big a hole as you are in. But I admire you for wanting to be so independent and strike out on your own. But if you need me, I want you to tell me. Don't let it get to the stage that you're homeless before you ask. Sometimes we have to swallow our pride" she advised tightly.
I pushed my bowl away, my appetite gone. "I appreciate that Mother."
More than she would ever know. If it wasn't for her, I would no doubt have ended up on the streets by now.
She smiled lovingly "Your father would have loved Faith you know. He would have adored having a grandchild like her to spoil" Her voice was wistful.
"Do you ever think about remarrying?" my voice was soft.
She hesitated "I don't think I will. That kind of love, it only comes once in a lifetime," she said, gazing off into the distance "and some people aren't even lucky enough to find that. I am fortunate that I got to have the best years of my life with your father and raising you, and now spending time with my grandchild. I do not need a man to make my life feel complete" she finished, while I looked at her in awe.
She was so strong my mother and dependable. I could feel tears gathering in my eyes as she began to clear the table without asking. If it weren't for her, I would have no doubt ended up in a worse situation, or even alone with no support when I gave birth to Faith and her father chose to abandon me.
"Mother, thank you, for everything" my voice is barely above a whisper.
I stand and hug her from behind. She stiffens and then relaxes. For a moment time is suspended as we embrace each other. I inhale her familiar perfume, making me nostalgic.
She finally steps back and turns to look at me. "Enough of that now," she says smoothing her clothes "I should go. Faith's been fed and bathed. I read her a story before bed and put her down thirty minutes before you got home. You should do some tidying up and then get to bed yourself, you look exhausted" she said peering at me and shaking her head in admonishment.
"I appreciate it," I said thickly as she gathered up her bag and her phone "but maybe you should take an Uber home mother, it's getting dark out..."
She waves a dismissive hand at me "I could use the fresh air. I'll be here tomorrow morning, bright and early so that you can make it to your new job in time. Make sure you're ready to go" she warned me, heading to the door "I don't want to have to get your a*s out of bed like I did when you were small."
I giggled and waved goodbye from the doorway, watching as she briskly walked down the street, her bag firmly under her shoulder. I worried for her safety, but she would never take an Uber home. It would remind her that she was getting older, more infirm and if there was anything my mother hated, it was the reminder that she was becoming frailer as she aged.
I sighed and shut the door carefully locking it, my thoughts on lan Grant. He was a mystery to me. He had moments where he was completely approachable and then times when he was so angry that it was impossible to see anything but the hatred and the resentment in his eyes. As I began to remember his face, my stomach began to feel butterflies.
Part of me couldn't hide the fact that I was eager to see him again, and another part of me, the rational part of me was dismayed. lan Grant was a client, I reminded myself as I headed to the bathroom to shower, and I would do well to remember that. But as the water cascaded over me, and I leaned against the tiles of the shower, part of me also remembered that lan Grant was also a man.
A very virile and handsome man. I could see him for the person he was, but he refused to see anything other than that he was disabled. Perhaps, I thought a little regretfully, that was a good thing, because it may be the only thing that prevented either of us from making a mistake that neither of us could take back. But boy, what would lan Grant's personality be like, if he was suddenly to become aware, that I was attracted to him and he suddenly viewed me as much more than just his nurse? I felt my body beginning to tremble at the possibilities that brought to mind.