Surrender Your Sensations

” Ava … Ava …”

My head was terribly aching and my body felt so sore but these constraints didn’t stop me from waking up. The bed, where I was lying,  kept on moving and shaking. As I opened my eyes, my head started spinning because of dizziness.

An unfamiliar white ceiling greeted my sight and a heavy thing was weighing my bare stomach, disallowing me to sit up. I could feel the terrible soreness in between my legs and my face turned into a deep frown because of the pungent smell of the alcohol lurking all over me.

I didn’t remember much of what happened or where I was but I didn’t have time to think about it because my gaze went to the arm that was tightly wrapped around my waist.

“Ava … Don’t … Please …”

Rupert was beside me, his arm was wrapped around my waist and his face was on the crook of my neck. He was mumbling … More like groaning … And having a nightmare.

His arms tightened around my waist as I tried to remove his arm. “Ava …”

There he was again. It seems like he was dreaming about his first love- his Ava.

I caressed his cheek and there, the wrinkle on his forehead gradually disappeared. His breathing began to get even and that’s when I knew he was back to sleep.

I smiled bitterly as my memories flooded back. It was Rupert getting me out of that bar and scolding me for drinking. Something happened between us – he acted like an angry and concerned boyfriend. Then, before I drifted to sleep, I heard his voice … That question.

I shook my head because at some point I thought it came from him. But that’s petty of me to think. Rupert would never ask me that- he would never do that because he was still not over her … He was still Ava’s.

“Why are you being like this, Meredith?” I asked myself looking at the blank white ceiling above me. I took a deep breath before trying to relieve the pain in my chest as Rupert’s hug tightened on my naked body under the blanket as he called Ava’s name again.

It was still Ava for him.

Minutes passed and when I felt Rupert’s arm loosened around my waist, I took that opportunity to get off of the bed. My legs were tired and my whole body was sore. My head was killing me and my hangover made it harder for me to steady my steps, picking up my clothes.

I almost fell as one by one I picked up my clothes that were scattered on the floor. I immediately get dressed, not minding the mixture of scents of alcohol and sex all over me. After getting dressed, I picked up Rupert’s clothes and folded them one by one. I placed his folded clothes on the end of the bed, noticing the absence of sheets covering the bed mattress.

That’s when I roamed my gaze all over the room. It was unfinished- the cemented walls were not painted and the tiles did not fully cover the whole flooring, the rest of the floor was covered with dart cement. Then, I noticed a large cabinet on the side and a wooden bedside table and a vanity mirror. This must be a woman’s bedroom, judging the design of the cabinet, table and the vanity mirror. Out of curiosity, I approached the cabinet and to my surprise, nothing was in there.

I looked at Rupert who was still sound asleep. Who exactly owns this house? Why did he bring me here?

I left the room and was greeted by the living room, kitchen and other rooms in the house. There were furniture with white cloth covering them. And the other rooms were locked. This seems like an unfinished and abandoned house for me.Content (C) Nôv/elDra/ma.Org.

But I saw that the light of the house was on and that means … This house was not totally abandoned. I was shocked to think that Rupert maybe own this.

Maybe. There was no way he would take me here to have sex if it this was not his property. But he had his condo unit and he was still a student. What was this house for? Or maybe, this belongs to his relative?

Walking in the living room, I saw my bag on the long sofa that was covered by white cloth. After getting my bag, I went back to the room where Rupert was still sleeping. I sat on the bench chair opposite the vanity mirror to fix my hair. I winced when I saw myself in the reflection of the mirror. I looked wasted … And tired.

I took the comb out of my bag to groom myself and when I finished, I looked at Rupert again. He was still asleep. Should I leave him here?

It’s was past seven AM and I was already feeling hungry. Rupert would surely not like it if I left him here. However, I did not want to wake him up.

I sighed before looking back at the vanity mirror in front of me. My fingers touched its side, tracing the oakwood tree material. Maybe because I had nothing to do and my mind was not really functioning due to the mixture of hunger, tiredness and hang-over, I turned my attention to everything around me.  I checked some of the things in the room until my attention was averted on the drawer at the bottom of the vanity table. I opened it.

I was shocked to see a little red velvet box. It was like those cute box containing a ring. I picked it up before I looked back at Rupert. Did he own this? For whom?

I bit my bottom lip when my brain answered my question. For whom- of course, for Ava. I found myself opening the small box and was mesmerized to see a pair of silver earrings- with a flower design. I was not familiar with this flower but it had a drooping white flower with small petals.

I really envy Ava’s luck now for having a love like what Rupert could give.

“That’s not for Ava.”

I was stunned when I felt Rupert’s familiar presence behind me. The heat coming from his body made me stiffened as I felt his hands hold my shoulders.

“What … Ah … I was just curious so-”

“That’s a snowdrop flower. That’s the birth flower of those born in January,” he said before his arms wrapped around my neck. I felt his chin resting on the top of my head. “Hmn … Why did you wake up so early, Sweetie? Aren’t you tired? Hangover?”

I blinked a few times as I stared at the pair of earrings in front of me. Birth flower of January celebrants?

“I was born in January,” I whispered, staring with wide eyes at the earrings.