Chapter 4: - 3 -
Chapter 4: - 3 -
I don't feel like going on this time.
I close my eyes, abandoning myself in the desolation and despair of not knowing what fate will bring.
I am alone.
I don't know how long I've been here and I don't know how much longer I must wait to get out.
I miss the wolf. His presence brought me comfort and security.
Now his absence hits me with silence and emptiness.
His words are alive within me, however. They remain a constant reminder that I cannot and will not get
rid of.
Should I listen to him? Should I go on and not give up, no matter how dark the future holds for me?
Will I manage to find him afterward?
Uncertainty.
Of not knowing what will happen to me. So taking a deep breath, I slowly open my eyes.
I'm still in the woods, but it looks different. There's light, much more light than before.
And now the moon is big and shines with a faint blue light around its circumference.
I take a look around and the trees start to grow.
The earth trembles beneath my feet and the stones jump as the branches spread out and large,
beautiful green leaves grow at their ends.
I am stunned.
I have never seen anything so impressive and profoundly beautiful as what is happening in front of my
eyes at this moment.
My head is tilted back, watching the treetops fill up with more and more new life.
The forest looks completely different now.
It is no longer gloomy and frightening, it is now full of vitality and warmth, though it preserves a little
mystery.
Suddenly, something catches my attention.
«Come closer».
Hearing him, takes my breath away.
I can't get used to the effects he has on me and I haven't even seen what he looks like.
Before I can avoid it, my feet lead me in the direction of the voice.
I take small steps at first, trying to lengthen this moment as much as possible.
«We have time».
—Please, don't leave again.
I answer in the air, shaking my head in all directions in the faint hope that I might find him in the shade
of one of the trees.
Without being able to see anything, I keep moving. The light emitted by the moon is not as intense as
before, but it conveys a different feeling.
Warmth.
A gentle emotion runs through my body, making me feel as if I somehow belong here.
«Keep moving. Don't stop».
I clench my hands in fists and speed up the pace, for fear that the voice will leave me once again.
I'm starting to see little piles of grass around me. The tiny leaves tickle my fingers as I walk, but I keep
moving.
Water.
I manage to see water as I go. A short shore opens up into a huge lake.
The waves are completely calm, while the moonlight reflects as a mirror on its surface.
«This is it».
I feel him so close yet so far away.
I long to feel his heat, to be able to have him in front of me.
To have the possibility to know if it is real or just a product of my voracious imagination and in need of a
lever to keep me sane.
—Where are you?
My voice comes out loud but shaky. My eyes are wide open, trying to see everything carefully, hoping
to catch some movement.
—Why can't I see you?
The silence extends as I stand on the shore of the great lake.
In the twilight of night, its waters seem to be black, though I am not fooled.
«Come in, Xander».
What?
Go in?
No, I don't want to.
—I'm scared.
I answer with full and raw honesty. I don't want to go in there, I don't want to risk something holding me
down and submerging me.
I could die.
I don't want to die.
Isn't that the critical point of everything?
«Don't be afraid, my love».
—Who are you?!
I demand without being able to stop myself.
I'm losing control of my emotions quickly and I don't like this situation at all.
—Let me see you! NôvelDrama.Org owns all content.
My eyes fill up with tears quickly and before I can stop them, they begin to slide down my cheeks.
I hold my arms tightly, hugging my body, in an attempt to control the spasms that are lashing me
roughly.
«I would never hurt you, Xander. You're a part of me, just as I'm a part of you».
His words trigger something inside me, my tremors and sobbing stop instantly.
I look up at the sky for a few seconds, then close my eyes and breathe.
I breathe.
I breathe.
And suddenly, there it is.
His presence envelops me with a faint whisper of love and tenderness that unsettles me from head to
toe.
I don't see him, but somehow, I know he's here.
With me.
Just like he said.
—I can feel you.
I whisper, in a voice so low that it barely comes out in a thin thread of sound, the smile on my lips so
big that it threatens to split my face in two.
Joy.
Pure, liquid as water, light as the wind, solid as diamond.
Joy. In all its shapes and colors.
Relief.
Yes, relief. To be able to confirm that he's here, that he's not a figment of my imagination.
I don't see him, I only hear him, but I know he exists. He exists, either to take care of me or to guide
me: I don't know, but he does.
That, for now, is enough.
«I feel you too, my love».
I open my eyes and look at the lake once more.
I take a deep breath and go forward. By the time my feet touch the water, I shudder.
It's not cold, it's not hot. It is warm, but the feeling of calm invades my body so suddenly that I almost
lose my balance.
«A little more».
I listen to him and go on. By the time the water reaches my waist, I stop.
Something catches my attention again. In the water I can see the reflection of something taking shape,
so I raise my face and fix my gaze in that direction.
It's a tree.
It grows and grows from the bottom of the water, creating waves around it.
But it's not leaves that are born at the ends of its branches.
It's lights.
Small, shiny, sparkling spheres in the shape of beautiful rosebuds, engendering a purple aura that
outlines their silhouettes.
The view is spectacular. I am drawn to it like a bee to honey and swim towards it.
By the time I get close, I feel the earth under my feet, so I start walking.
Now I'm standing on an island with this magnificent, shiny tree in front of me.
And the strangest thing of all, I'm completely dry.
And I don't feel exhausted from the effort of swimming.
I'm fine. I'm completely fine and...
—I'm here.
I announce again into the void, waiting for the owner of the voice to hear me.
«I know. Me too».
—You're lying.
I'm not sure why I said that, the words just came out of my lips before I could stop them.
—I could see you if that was the case.
I continue quickly, the last thing I want is for him to abandon me.
—I could touch you.
And God: how much I need to. The urge is there.
I want more than anything in this world to be able to be with him.
«I'm not lying, Xander. There's only you and me here».
I raise a hand and gently cradle one of the flowers in my palm.
It's silky smooth to the touch. I move the fingers through its petals but suddenly, it falls off the branch.
Its union with the stem was so fragile that a simple caress from me was enough to break it.
I cradle it in my hands, watching it with admiration.
Its light becomes so intense for a few moments, that I find it difficult to keep my eyes on it. But
suddenly... It disappears.
It vanished without a trace as I held it.
And for some reason, its absence affects me so much that I feel my heart squeezing inside my chest.
I start crying again.
—Will you take me with you?
I plead between sobbing and hurtful panting, trying to control both my emotions and my weeping.
«As soon as I can find you».
—You promise?
I fall to my knees, feeling suddenly weak.
I feel like an invisible force is pulling my body, trying to drag me away from this place.
I don't like it.
I don't want to.
I don't want to go.
—Promise, please... I don't want to fight in vain.
I bring my hands to my face and I keep crying in despair.
«I promise, my love. Now listen to me:
This tree represents us, Xander.
This tree was born out of our bond.
As long as it exists, so will our love».
I raise my face and observe once again the purple orbs of light on the thin branches.
I approach, still on my knees, and embrace the tree trunk.
Clinging to every ounce of strength in my blood, tears still stream down my cheeks.
—I'll take care of it, I swear.
The certainty of my confession takes hold of me, making me feel complete, like I fit in, like I belong
here and nowhere else.
«I know. You've promised me that before».
The force that pulls on my body becomes more and more powerful.
My vision becomes blurred and the forest trembles, as if I were also crying over my inevitable
departure.
«An earthquake», I think at first.
But no, it's an energy that shakes my body roughly, trying to drag me away from this place.
—Help me!
I cry out in despair, longing for the voice to finally materialize and free me from this prison.
It doesn't happen.
My body continues to shake and my feet separate from the ground, keeping me floating in the air.
«Xander!».
...
My limbs feel heavy now.
I'm lying down, I can sense that. I'm cold, the surface that supports me is solid and smooth.
I try to move, but I can't and I hear a tinkle, a brief vibration when I try.
Everything hurts even though I don't move rudely. My head throbs relentlessly and I hear diffuse voices
around me.
None of them look like the one in the forest and I can't make out what they're saying.
I slowly open my eyes and the strong light hurts me so much that I have to blink several times, while I
get used to my surroundings.
The ceiling is completely white, I look around but I can't see anything, I don't recognize the place. The
walls are white too and a huge lamp is right above me.
I try to move again, but I can't get my limbs up. That's when I realize the metal restrictions around my
wrists and ankles.
«Where am I?». I think, already feeling a slight fear originating within me.
—Until you finally wake up, little Xander.
«Oh, God, no... Please, no».