Madrid

Alana

Oh! Raúl, what are you doing with my head, with my body, and with my heart? All my certainties were put down. When he kisses me, touches me, his scent, his strong hands around my body make me very vulnerable. All this is so new to me, strange, because I never imagined being with him, and feeling desire for someone who has always been so close to my daily life, who has seen me grow up… This is surreal! Raúl came into my life as a friend of Dani’s, and now he appears without asking my permission, invades my mind, leaves me confused, my thoughts are dominated by him, and what I felt for my half brother seems so far away, it’s like being in a bubble. Did I live an illusion, or did I create something that didn’t exist? I don’t know for sure, maybe I got used to it, and I closed myself off to other feelings, relationships, horizons, I couldn’t see what was happening, I didn’t know how to differentiate what I felt, I was paralyzed within a pseudo feeling . Until a certain defender arrives, and pulls me out of my bubble.

As soon as he left my room, I just stood there staring into space trying to process everything that had happened. Raúl asked me on a date, we discussed it with Dani, and I accepted his request. Now we’re boyfriends, and I’ve never had a boyfriend! Deep breath. No, I’m not crazy, and I’m not even doing drama, I lived in a bubble, remember?

Before taking a shower, choosing an outfit and putting on makeup, I need to vent to someone. I call Babi, and she doesn’t answer. I call Edu, who answers on the second ring.

– Hello, did you remember that you have friends? – says Edu, full of irony.

– What fun, you should be a comedian! – He laughs on the other end of the line.

– How are you?

– I’m a little, I’m actually quite nervous…

– Why? What was there?

– So much has happened in the last 24 hours, I don’t even know where to start…

– I already know about Raúl’s fight with that waste, but what happened next? – I told him everything that happened, and Edu almost had a fit. He sounded like a madman screaming on the other end of the line because of the details I told him. – What are you waiting for? You should be ready to go out with your boyfriend by now, friend!

– I know, it’s just that I’m having doubts about the clothes. I don’t want something that attracts attention, and…

– What? Alana from heaven, wake up ! Look at Raúl, he’s a hottie, too bad he’s straight and likes you!

– Edu, how dull you are…This content © Nôv/elDr(a)m/a.Org.

– I’m kidding, I would never poke out a friend’s eye. But joking aside… Dress to kill. Leave the defender drooling even more.

– Oh Ed! I don’t know, I… – He doesn’t let me finish the sentence.

– Don’t start with that, do what I told you, throw yourself at life, and enjoy this beautiful, cool and passionate man!

I bid him farewell. I look at the cell phone screen that says more than seven o’clock, I wasted half an hour talking to Edu. Is Raúl still waiting for me? In record time I did everything I had to do, and left the room in despair. As I approach the top of the stairs, I see Raúl looking at me like I’m something very precious. With every step I take, I feel him undress me, and it doesn’t bother me, but it does make me uncomfortable, and when I finally reach the bottom step, he holds out his hand. His gaze makes me nervous. I decide to break the atmosphere, or rather the sexual tension that has settled between us.

– I took too long?

– A little, but I think it was worth the wait. You look beautiful!

As soon as he says that, his eyes start another tour of my body, and finally he insists on landing on my breasts. This makes me a little embarrassed, and I talk to him again, who doesn’t seem to hear, and I insist once more.

– Raúl, I’m talking to you! – I say, and he finally wakes up from the trance he’s in. We talked about where he would take me, but I don’t really like the idea. He wants to take me to a restaurant near Juan de Toledo, the stadium of Real Desportivo de Madrid. Nobody deserve!

– I can cheer for you, but not for Real Desportivo Madrid, boyfriend! I say, and he approaches, puts his hands around my waist, and kisses my neck, making me shiver. I put my hands around his neck, and sudden courage appears.

– What are you waiting for to kiss me, quarterback?

I don’t know what got into me, but I know that Raúl doesn’t wait a second to make our wish come true. Our kiss doesn’t go too deep, as, as usual, someone in this house has to show up to get in our way.

– Alana! – hearing my name, we quickly let go. I look in the direction of that voice I know all too well.

– Oh, hi mom! I say a little awkwardly, and Raúl decides to greet her.

– How is Dona Elena doing? – when she hears the question, my mother looks at Raúl with a slightly indigestible face, she is still apprehensive about what Dani has said.

– Well done, Raul! But I would like an explanation of what was going on here when I arrived!

– Dona Elena, I… And your daughter, we’re dating!

– What? Like this?

– How do two people date mom? – Do you want details?

– Don’t be cute, you know very well what I mean!’ You were friends, and it all happened too fast, and…

– I know it seems too fast, and I understand your concern. But what you don’t know is that I’ve liked your daughter for some time, but I’ve never shown it…

– Raúl, I like you, but I don’t want my only daughter involved in scandals. Lately, you…

– I know, but everything that you have learned is nothing more than a big lie from someone who wants to harm me… – Before the defender concludes what he wants to expose, my stepfather appears to lend a hand.

– Elena, I thought you were a doctor, not a police investigator. You’re interrogating poor Raúl too much and making him nervous.

– That’s not it, honey, it’s…

– He’s in love with Alana, and she seems to like him too. We’ve known Raúl for a long time, enough to know that he’s someone very reliable, and all that concern about Dani is jealousy from an older brother who doesn’t want to see his sister dating his best friend. That’s simple!

After my stepfather made his speech on behalf of our cause, my mother didn’t say anything else, just walks past us and up the stairs. I’m almost certain that Álvaro’s words didn’t convince her, and I can’t understand, she never had any problems with Raúl, he always frequented our house. My stepfather smiles at me, taps Raúl on the shoulder, and then goes upstairs, and I won’t be waiting for her to come down, and tell me I shouldn’t leave, I pull Raúl’s hand and we leave before anyone shows up. We got into his car, and all the way to his house, he didn’t say anything, and he didn’t even kiss me. As soon as we arrive, before I open the door, he decides to speak.

– Cariño, I think your mother didn’t like the idea of me as her son-in-law very much. I… – I don’t let him speak, I just approach him, bring my hand to his face, caress him. He looks at me, and his eyes express tenderness.

– She’s just a little confused by this whole Pedro thing, everything he said about you talking about me in the locker room, or using me to get media coverage, and all that bullshit. Don’t worry, what matters is that I don’t believe any of this!

– Do you know that I fall more and more in love with you? He says that, and brings his mouth to my ear, and whispers. – You’re wonderful, cariño!

Seriously? Why does he say these things? He does it on purpose, because he knows it has some effect on me. Raúl looks back at me, and then kisses me lightly, and when I believe he would intensify the kiss, he stops.

– Come! We have a very important dinner…

He gets out of the car, goes around, opens the door, takes my hand, and leads me to the door of his house. As soon as we enter, we hear several voices coming from the room, Raúl takes me there, and everyone looks at us curiously. I get so embarrassed when I notice the looks of his brothers and his mother on me, my boyfriend realizing that impasse decides to take the first step.

– Good night! You remember Alana, don’t you?

– Of course I remember, that girl was so pretty! says his mother, who approaches and comes towards me to hug me. You look so different, honey! She’s prettier, that’s why Raúl has been so restless.

Now it’s his turn to be embarrassed by his mother’s statement. As his mother comforts me with her warm embrace, Raúl mutters something I can’t hear. I greet his brothers, at least the two younger ones, Eva and Javier, this one looks like a younger version of his older brother, without his beard and hair falling out of his eyes, and the girl, or rather my sister-in-law looks a princess with long brown hair, and eyes that make me jealous, the same color as my boyfriend. Dona Mari insists that we have dinner with them.

– Unfortunately not, mother! – The other day, I bring Alana home for dinner…

– It’s Dona Mari, there will be no shortage of opportunities, and I also want to taste those sweets that you used to make when I was younger.

– I ‘ll be glad to do it for you, dear!

She answers me, and Raúl calls me to go upstairs with him, says he wants to show me around the house, I have my doubts about that, I wave to everyone, and I follow him. We go upstairs, and he leads me to his room. As soon as we enter, he turns on the lights, and I’m impressed with the size of his room, it’s huge, much bigger than mine, the bed would fit about four people. I observe every detail, the curtains, the paintings, framed pictures of him and his family, and one that was on a table next to the bed, catches my attention. It’s a photo of us. I think about four years ago, long before I went to Brazil, we were in front of his old house, which was much smaller than this one, he has one of his hands around my shoulder, and he shows a beautiful smile, marked for the dimples that I adore, and I’m smiling too. I look at that picture, and I smile. As I look at that photograph, I feel two hands hold my waist, hair brushing my face, and that husky voice whisper in my ear.

– Do you remember this photo?

– A little, I think it was at your 20th birthday party, wasn’t it?

That was it! he says, and kisses my neck. I place the photo where it was, and turn to look at him. Raúl wraps his arms even tighter around my waist, and looks at me with that famous wet panties smile. I’m going to shower, and leave you alone for a while, do you mind?

– No, you can take your bath.

He pulls away from me, takes off his jacket, then his shirt. As he takes off his clothes, I realize I’m not ready to see him shirtless, not in his room, not right now, after everything that’s happened in my house. He looks at me with an extremely inviting look, and smiles. I try not to look at him. I know, I’m acting like an idiot, but I must remind you that I lived in a bubble, and I couldn’t see what was outside. I don’t know how to act in front of him, his well defined muscles, all those tattoos consume my judgment, I don’t think I ever said it, but I have a fetish for tattooed men, I want to kiss and lick every one of them. I know it’s weird, but I lived in a bubble!

I look at Raúl with all those tattoos on his chest, three big roses bordering the area and connecting to the drawings of the arms, and a name that I can’t identify, along with that athlete’s chest on display, and those well defined entrances, which I recently discovered is called the oblique, the famous entrance that men have in the region below the belly going towards… You know what I’m talking about!

I try not to look, I lower my face, I look to the side, but I think he notices my discomfort, he approaches, and my heart races, I get so nervous, I feel his gaze on me, but I don’t want to face him because that urge to licking your tattoos is increasing. I keep looking down , and he brings his hand to my chin, lifts my face to face him, and says something to me that baffles me.

– No need to pretend, I know you were looking at me. – Feel free, look at your boyfriend’s body, cariño!

Why does he say this? Do you want to drive me crazy? I’m trying to control myself, and Raúl comes to tell me to look at ease. You don’t say something like that to a girl who lived in a bubble, doesn’t know anything about sex, and has a weird fetish that’s never been realized.

That’s not fair!