Chapter 171
Was I imagining things? I followed the path that ran parallel to the rim, through foliage thinned by winter, until I reached them. Riley was leaning back on the railing, faking a surprised expression as he pretended to fall into the canyon. Harper was taking the photo, while Avery stood a generous twenty feet away from the edge.
“How did you know where to find me?” I asked.
Harper snapped the photo of Riley, then turned to me. “I put a tracker on your car.”
“WHAT!”
“Sorry. I don’t usually make jokes like that, but it felt like the right time.” “Your Dad told us you come here when you’re sad,” Avery explained.
“That was a big risk, driving an hour to the Grand Canyon without being certain I was here.”
“Not as big of a gamble as driving eight hours,” Riley said. “You know we drove eight hours to see you, right?”
“I know how far of a drive it is. I’ve made it plenty of times,” I said.
“So you do know,” Riley said, letting a trickle of anger into his tone. “Which makes it even shittier of you for running away the minute we arrived.”
“I wanted to get tacos first,” Avery said. “I’m starving.”
“You have every right to be angry,” I admitted. “About me fleeing here when you showed up at my house. For moving out without telling you. And for sleeping with each of you secretly. You probably hate me. That’s why I ran, I don’t think I can face your anger, because it’s justified…”
Harper took two steps forward and braced me by the arms. “Oh, Leslie.
We don’t hate you.”
“We’re frustrated with you,” Harper added. “But that’s a long way from hate.”
“Should we just tell her?” Avery asked.
“Tell me what?”
He took a step closer, then eyed the railing and thought better of it. “Can we have this conversation up here? Away from the rim?”
The rest of us walked closer to Avery until he looked relieved.
“All three of us like you. A lot.”
“Some of us have even used stronger language than that,” Riley said quietly.
“I like each of you, too,” I said. “Which is why I’m in an impossible situation. I can’t even begin to think about choosing one of you.”
Avery snapped his fingers. “Exactly. We don’t want you to choose, either. We want to share you.”
I gave a start. “You do?”
“We’ve done it before,” Riley said. “It worked amazingly, for a while.” “Until it blew up in your face,” I pointed out.
“It ended poorly,” Harper admitted. “I’ve never been more heartbroken in my life. But so what? People get their hearts broken all the time, but that doesn’t stop them from dating in the future. The same should be said about this… situation.”
“Just because Jess didn’t work out,” Riley finished for him, “doesn’t mean we shouldn’t explore this. With us.”
There it was. Since learning about Jess, I had wondered if they would want that kind of situation again. After learning about how much that relationship hurt Harper, I assumed they wouldn’t want to go through that again. But I was wrong.
They wanted to share me. All three of them.
Part of me was excited. But only part. My greater instinct was to run away, just like I always did. But there was nowhere to go unless I jumped down into the canyon.
“I’m so sorry,” I said, “but I can’t.”
Riley’s jaw stiffened. “Why not?”
“It’s too much for me,” I said. “I tried being with all three of you, and I didn’t have enough time. I started failing classes. I need to put aside all distractions like that and focus on my last semester at school. It’s the only way.”
“That,” Harper said, “is bullshit.”This text is property of Nô/velD/rama.Org.
I gave a start at his unexpected vulgarity. “Huh?”
“It’s absolutely bullshit,” Riley agreed. “Everyone’s busy. Hell, I’m a college athlete. I spend close to thirty hours a week going to practices and workouts. That’s on top of my full class schedule, and on top of having a relationship with you. And I made it work.”
“If something is important to you,” Avery added, “then you make time. Not excuses.”
Harper was nodding along with them. “The most important people in your life should make things easier, not harder. I thought I was doing that. Making things easier by helping you study.”
“You were!” I replied. “It’s just…”
“What?” Avery demanded. “What is it Leslie?”
They all stared at me, a wall of my lovers blocking my escape. Behind me was the canyon. I was boxed in, unable to run.
“I’m scared,” I whispered.
Riley blinked. “What?”
“I’m scared it won’t work out,” I said, and realized the words were true. Feelings I hadn’t processed until right now. “Three guys is three times the pain. I got a taste of that pain this month. Then there’s the added complexity of our situation. What if one of us breaks up? How will that affect the relationship with the other two? Not to mention your friendship with each other. Sure, you guys have done this before: sharing a woman. But it’s all new to me, and it terrifies me…”
Riley put a hand on my shoulder. “But does it excite you?”
I nodded. “Yes.”
“The best things in life are both exciting and scary,” Harper said.
“Roller coasters,” Avery said. “Going off to college for the first time. Trying anything new.”
“Agreeing to be the girlfriend to three amazing, handsome men,” Riley finished for him.
“Or at least two amazing men, and one blond baseball player,” Harper said, winking at him.
“Don’t let the fear overpower the excitement,” Riley said, fixing his blue gaze on me. “Give us a chance.”
“At least try it for a month,” Harper bargained. “Until the end of January. And if it’s too much for you, and it’s hurting your studies, then you get a free get-out-of-relationship card.”
“There won’t be any hard feelings,” Avery said. “Because at least we would have tried.”
I thought about their offer. And what they said about making decisions based on fear. My relationship with them wasn’t the only fear-based decision I had made lately. I had chosen to put off grad school for a year because I was afraid of making the wrong choice. But now that I faced that fear, and had it pointed out to me, it was clear that I had made the wrong decision. I knew exactly where I wanted to be next year.
As the three of them waited for my response, I felt a warmth from their presence. A warmth that had been absent this past month while I lived with Erin and then came home for Christmas break. I thought I was the best version of myself while I was holed up in my room studying for twentyfour hours a day. But that wasn’t true at all.
I was the best version of myself when I was with them.
“Well?” Riley asked, raising a hopeful eyebrow. “What do you say?” I responded by throwing myself into his arms and kissing him.
“I think that’s a yes,” Avery said.
An elderly Japanese couple had wandered up the path. They clapped with excitement at the scene. Until I pulled away from Riley and kissed Avery, and their applause trailed off. When it was Harper’s turn, the elderly couple turned around and hurried away, whispering to themselves.
“Does this mean you’ll move back in with us, too?” Avery asked. “Because I really don’t want to get a new roommate.”
“Erin’s place is on the other side of campus,” I replied. “I guess dating the three of you would be more convenient if we lived under the same roof.”
“I was hoping for more enthusiasm,” Harper said. “But I’ll take it.”
Suddenly, I gasped. “Shit!”
“What?” Riley asked. “You didn’t start dating someone else in the last month, did you?”
I pulled out my phone and called my dad. “I need you to go to the mailbox and get the letters. I don’t want to send them.”
“Does this have to do with you dating three men?”
I cringed at hearing my dad acknowledge my situation. “Just get the letters, Dad.”
“So you’ve made a decision?” he asked.
“Yeah,” I replied, smiling at my three lovers. “I have.”